I believe I think,
I want to ask. Yet
what I want, is to
know.
She materialised soundlessly. Her eyes
fixed on me with a gentle questioning
look which I came to remember as having
belonged to my grandmother during her
sieges of illness, when I used to go to
her room and sit by her bed and want, so
much, to say something or to put my hand
over hers .. Now it was she who stood next
to my bed for a while. And as I drifted
toward sleep, I wondered if she'd witness-
ed the encounter .. Nothing about her gave
me any sign. The weightless hands clasping
each other so loosely, the cool and believ-
ing gray eyes in the faint pearly face ..
I felt that she neither blamed nor approved
.. No. Wait. She seemed to lift one hand
very, very slightly before my eyes closed
with sleep ..
Tennessee Williams
Vieux Carré
Part One, Scene Two
1978
New Directions, 1979©
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