Tuesday, September 9, 2014

A surprising flourish of dignity

     I think it bears remembrance,
     that the Apple board deposed
     Steve Jobs, himself. Bankers
     are that way, as Bugsy found.
     But Steve converted some op-
     tions and, parbleu, regained
     the upper perch in the happy
     junglejim he and Wozniak put
     together as if it were a gar-
     age wine: from raw belief. I
     recall these highly ordinary
     corporate growing pains now,
     because I think we glimpse a
     devolution of the mantle, we
     can recognize.

     I'm a cardiovascular patient
     of the anxious years; I row
     very hard every day, because
     I live with a young dog whom
     I do not wish to fail. Under
     no circumstances, except for
     these, would I consider this
     new iThing, designated Apple
     Watch. An end to the iFetish
     may be too distant to celeb-
     rate; but the departure from
     voyeurism in this appliance,
     is not a bad idea.

     There must be many oddities
     of this vulgar kind to have
     captivated bankers, already.
     But I know that tribe of id-
     iots for having edited Orson
     Welles, and gotten away, in
     the bargain; I don't expect
     vision in that discipline,
     after the death of Andrew
     Mellon, which (difficult to
     believe as it is) must have
     taken place.

     Did you know, the watch has
     a knurled crown of familiar
     and neo-mechanical quality,
     even more sensitive to our
     experience than the origin-
     al iPod's dial, and hugely
     more decent than the dis-
     missive swipe screen of Ap-
     ple's laboratory rat toys?

     So I can rotate this witty
     thingamajig, as if it were
     the crown of an Oyster Per-
     petual, and it will know,
     I want information, not ex-
     hibition. I'll ignore any
     endearing entertainments, 
     it may thrust my way, much
     as I don't take my field
     glasses to an art gallery.
     No one will ever see me,
     wearing it. If it works,
     I'm in. And if the bankers
     want a smoothie to go gush-
     ing from its tap, tap into
     retained earnings. Give the
     shareholders something to
     double-down on.

     Come back to compassion, 
     Apple. Come back to true 
     assistance. Good start.

Wayne Thiebaud
oil on canvas

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