Who shall sew the first button?

A crisis in conditioning of the young has reached the attention of even the President's wife. All about us, their upper trouser button is simply a bridge too far. A notorious proclivity for games and revels is rightly coming under scrutiny in our media, ever enthralled by any fluttering of tanlines.
Fashion, however, seems not to be wholly blameless in the ascendancy of the descending demarcation. The appalling lengths to which the young will go, to imitate each other's entitlement to this affectation, exposes a tendency upon which our schoolmarms have always been alert to pounce, with hatpin rampant. Hopefully, this entry can help to gather that furore.