Monday, February 27, 2012

The fall of man and the morning mail

A columnist for The New York Times has lately delved into that sort of scandalous sign of the decline of the West which Mr Rick Santorum has been enumerating in ever more delirious raptures, all Winter, which obviously must be attributed (when verified in Rome) to our governance by an alien Nazi Islamofascist secularist (a Christian - we are not denying - despite his saying that he is). Evidently there is a prevalence, whether cannily conspiratorial or merely impotently degenerate, of Harvard College alumni in the mail room - and not just for sociable reasons, mind - but to gain a chokehold on employment sinecures heretofore reserved for decent Americans. 

It's bad enough, that they flaunt graduation Rolexes and solipsistic conditioning (credit us, dear Reader, for censor-ing the worst of it) at our service entrances already; they exhibit a prosperity vaster from descent than from their paycheck, and right at the epicenter of our decadent entertainment industry. It was one thing for the Times' man to perceive this as careerist; yet it's quite another, to ignore the chosen career.

This, you may reliably trust us not to do. An entire industry, based on the bizarre and patently degenerate principle that persons are entitled to pleasure, is precisely that infringement of snobbery upon the sacred hierarchy of stupidity which our Founders or-dained, which flourishes as the suppurating wound of the status quo.

Nor is it for us to make light of where this could lead, but to the slippery slope of francosocialism: to find employment undermined by income subsidies necessary to en-dure it. Soon enough, entitlements will take hold, upon the lewd back of egalitarianism; and that beast of two backs of the Santoric solecism will be exposed as, well, junk mail.

Even you and I, slogging our way through our morning herring, must steel ourselves for another Monday fraught with hotties, subduing the sinful reflex to faint when the courier comes to our desk.

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