Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Origins of Wednesday lxiv: Stale peanuts

The comic strip ran so long, that when
Lucy withdrew the football she feigned 
to hold for Charlie Brown’s kick-off, 
we ultimately assimilated that she was 
not a team mate but, for all the endear-
ing mirth in her first or second jest, 
she was nothing but a chronic saboteur 
of her own tease. My, how gamely Charlie 
Brown did bounce off his ever-trusting 
backside, as he slipped on one yellow 
peel after another in her deceptions,
as in, I'll sign any bipartisan bill a
majority wants. But that was last week. 

In the sickeningly familiar, dirty old man 
intonation he reserves for such occasions, 
to entice the naïve republic into his limo 
with a candy bar, he framed another above-
the-fray deception between heroic portraits 
in the East Room of the White House, to an 
audience of dress-uniformed conscripts for
the photo op. Now petting the very wings he 
had ripped from scores of butterflies there-
yet another pronunciamento, for his very per-
sonal Department of Justice to frame as some 
kind of enforceable restraint on the inter-
state sale of force multipliers for homicide
machines. Naturally, one could not expect a 
national prohibition against the enjoyment of 
the many dozens of thousands of such devices 
already in circulation, to say nothing of in-
vading their yeomanly trading at the sacred 
suburban Ballistics-and-Brew bazaars which dot
the map, proliferate online, and invigorate
our fairgrounds. His judges have seen to it.

Do we remember wondering, after a while, why
Charlie Brown kept on falling for Lucy's joke?
Was it because he'd been raised as a trusting 

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