Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Summer Liebling iii

A peril of the text.

Summer allows us all
a gainful lull in the
deliberations of our
elegant judiciary: a
time to kick back and
marvel at the valida-
tion of Senator Roman
Hruska's immortal pro-
phecy of the Nixon era,
defending his nomina-
tion of G. Harrold Cars-
well, a T-room hero of
the Larry Craig school
of redneck sanctimony.
How soothingly our ham-
mock sways in the wheeze
of antisemitism, usher-
ing in reconsiderations
of affirmative action,
school desegregation, 
one man one vote, and
gender equality in the

Even if he were mediocre,
there are a lot of medi-
ocre judges and people
and lawyers. They are en-
titled to a little rep-
resentation, aren't they,
and a little chance? We
can't have all Brandeises
and Frankfurters and Car-

Not that the afflicted
aryan male is not over-
due for sympathy, the
Court cannot apply that
balsam directly, with-
out courting complaint
of affirmative action.
And so, it finds (out
of thin air, and the
denying soul of its
openly confessed con-
stituency) that things
are better, now, and
so bordering on spiffy
as to end the redistri-
bution of blonds. Not
that there were ever
so many, as Senator
Hruska warned, to go
around. The thinnest
sampling is all the
austere republic can
spare, and they must
be reserved for impor-
tant occasions.

Scholars ask, what be-
came of this successor
of Warren Buffett's fa-
ther in Congress, this
guardian of the judici-
ary, this Nixonite ally
of discrimination's fav-
ourite syllogism? Radi-
antly fittingly, he is
remembered in a great of-
fice of our government,
the Federal Meat Animal
Research Center [sic],
in his native Nebraska:
getting big government
to do the heavy lifting
for private capital again.
How grateful we all must
be, for Clarence Thomas'
opinion for the Court 
last Term, against the
patenting of genes. We
might be cloned to blond-
ness, and its victimhood.

A.J. Liebling

The Eternally
  Kicked in the Pants
March 26, 1955
The New Yorker©

The Library of America, 2008©

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